Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Pengy The Bodoh Cat



This, ladies and gentlemen, is Pengy! Bodoh extraordinaire!! His actual name is Percival, but we wondered how his mummy cat thought up of such a smart sounding name (his mummy only got kindergarden education..and failed her Purring lessons somemore) so we decided to call him Pengy. Why leh? Because we all thought he looked like a penguin mah. Then when we tell him his new name, he asked us what is a penguin. I told him it is a bird, and then he kena panic attack and until this day he still thinks he can fly (cos penguin is a bird what?)...Very sad case.


But we are very accomodating, cos Pengy is a fellow kaki mah, no matter what, even stupid cats also must protect one..But his stories really alot. One time he kena ditched by Cleopatra, very heartbroken tried to committ seppaku, but he couldn't find a knife..so he took what he learn from Baywatch and tried to drown himself.....in a puddle of milk. It was a funny sight siah, watching him...and then he'd keep asking us if he dieded anot and if we were kitty angels. We didnt have heart to say no, so for that day he so happy cos he thought he was a ghost bird. Lucky he never try to fly, else we will be purring at his funeral already.


*meow out*

Sunday, July 24, 2005

my charboh Snowy!


Would you look at her?? Oh my kitty gods! She is how chio can?? Like the Faye Wong of pussy cats you know? Porcelain fur, like ice like that. Must be very nice to touch woh..*purrs* So cold, so heartbreaker. Always got so many AhBengCats (henceforth known as ABCs) try to get into her good paws..The last abc Pengy dragged a dead mouse as big as my head to her place somemore, we were all so worried that she would want his babies you know?? Pengy is so ugly, their babies sure terrorise us one. But that bodoh cat kena slapped upside down..Why? cos Snowy dear is a vegetarian. Bodoh Pengy never do research one! Lucky I don't know how to catch mouses, else malu also. This is my favoruite photo of her, I keep it and look at it at night when I feel lonely. *sad purrs*

Anyways, Snowy is actually a lady of great dreams! Last christmas, she got abit drunk from drinking a Tiger Beer puddle a fat human left on the floor, and she actually took me to go watch stars with her. So romantic siah...Even though she vomitted here and there, but my love is blind!! *purrs* At the top of a HDB (we took the lift lah), she told me of her childhood dreams! Like how she wanted to conquer the humans, and enslave them with her emerald green eyes! To boil milk and catch mouses for her! So ambitious! I like!! If only she will be my pussygirl..I will die a happy cat! And those stupid humans don't know anything one...Slowly we will...


*cough cough*


Got fur ball...*meow*

Thursday, July 21, 2005

introducing Ginger


*meow*
Harlo, human friends! My name is Ginger the Cat and I will be your cute, furry, orange bundle of joy for this special season of "Ahbeng Meows(x2) On The Streets!" Actually, the yandao who I share this blog with thought that I am being too rude calling ourselves AhBengCats, 'cos he scared that human ah bengs might find it offensive and pour red paint outside his house! Red paint is so last year loh. But whatever man. Hum Chee Kia! I can call myself the AhBengMeowTow if I like ok, cos those pussy cats like us bad kitties! Who stop us? Gahmen meh? *purrs* Bad cats get all the sex, you know! See, my attitude face, how sexy can? Those pussies cannot resist! *licks paws*
But anyways! I am here to be the guide to my many many kakis in the neighbourhoods! We roam the streets like police like that, and do nothing but suntan in the sun every day woh! Shiok anot?? Envy anot?? But cats life is like that mah...Sometimes I bored until stare at the wall you know? So sad....Ah..And hor, I stay in this small city called Singapore, where everything is so well fed and clean that even the mouses are bigger than meeeeeeow. The last one I fight in the drain almost take my tail home as a trophy, damn malu. =_=" Imagine what my friends would say? No tail like impotent like that...Very sad one.
Anyways, I will slowly slowly introduce you to all my beautiful feline friends! They have wonderful personalites and dreams too (but are usually too lazy to get on it). We may not have a home loh, but at least we have character ok!
*meow out*

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

bullshit

Bullshit

For some strange reason, the NKF thinks of the public as a psychic entity, equipped with a supernatural depth of common-sense that should, by its accord, provide a keen self-aware insight to the cog works of the organisation. They must believe that we can discern their kindly intentions, hidden as it were in an opaque maze of nondisclosure, simply by going to bed at night and mewing to ourselves softly,"I don't know where my money went..but I'm sure its somewhere helpful..loh." It is almost heartbreaking to learn that the top executive of an established charity deigned it unnecessary to justify or make known their actions to the public, from (and for) whom the very existence of their organisation is based upon.

For example: the amount of patients serviced by the program was inflated and published in error, but the man decided that it was, I quote, "no major importance" and took no steps to correct it because, he felt that the public was giving money for various reasons (20chances to win a condo loh!) and for the NKF "brand" (and not because of patient numbers....duh). He assumed that the working man is fundamentally aware of the benefits invested with a position such as one he is holding, along with golden taps and frequent flyer miles, and thus felt justified in maintaining his principal of non-disclosure.

What is even more interesting is his adamant stance on how: 1) the public need not know, 2) he is faultless, 3) his responsibilities have been fulfilled.

Infact, it is not so much his salary figures, but his stonewalling of efforts to make transparent his legitimacy, that is the bigger issue. So maybe he is paid a mammoth salary to manage a traditionally thankless job, maybe he truly deserves it for his outstanding managerial skills, but surely the bonuses were overly extravagant when juxtaposed with the fact that it is all, infact, donors' money spent towards helping the needy. The needy, and not towards the building of a single board's personal pool of wealth. I am sure that those sitting on the board aint drawing shabby numbers afterall. Why then, the secrecy? Does it stand to reason that perhaps, they possessed of an inner humility that tells them (like a little angel on your shoulder) that the public might be displeased to learn of the interesting numbers? If they knew that the people would be unhappy, doesn't it mean that they were doing something against public interests? (like gay concerts woh) If so, their strict practice of non-disclosure can only mean that they knew that they were doing something the people would not like, but wanted to keep doing it. Thus, how is this different from decieving the people? At least, that will be how it looks like to the public.


In their defense, I do not understand the attacks made on the reserves: having a huge safety net to fall back upon is the whole point, isn't it? Irregardless of how many years it'd serve the current pool of patients, any estimation on the lifespan of the reserves is moot, because we simply cannot foresee the future. Please do not tell me that the number of patients will stagnant at 2000 ad infinitum. And mis-management aside, the organisation has done much good over the years and should still be given the benefit of a doubt, if but for their contributions.

And so the greatest irony is this: The tearing of facades began as a lawsuit against the SPH, but culminated in a withdrawal and a not-so-subtle reversal of roles on the stand. In their infinite wisdom, the NKF decided that a(nother) lawsuit was the best alternative (instead of blatant denials or forthright disclosures), for what could justify their innocence better than the bearing of fangs and claws? (As with several previous litigations) To show the public: the incensed righteousness of the maligned, the NKF must fight to protect their reputation via the judicial pipe, naturally, against our hegemony of a journalistic sector no less. But did they not anticipate the drudging of dirt out from beneath their corporate carpets, or the already disillusioned opinions of the vox populi. Were they expecting Mrs Goh to continue backing their misadventures now that the changing of blood has taken place? All in all, I thought that their actions were all rather, bizarre and showed a lack of foresight (to their credit, of course). Would not a gentlemanly recourse be the wiser alternative? Why must they seek redress through the most aggressive and counter-intuitive method available? Against the national paper that controls the dissemination of popular information. Humility and acceptance would have saved them from this media circus of their own doing.

Anyways, if the information are to be believed, a consolidated boycott against the organisation would be a gratifying slap in their face. Although, I still believe that if we start boycotting the 3rd, in as many weeks, instalment of the "NKF Cancer Charity Funds" (do we really need them managing another charity's funds?), we are depriving those in true dire needs of help, just to make a point (which isn't fair to the patients). As an alternative to extend your charity, LydiaMei directed me to this
organisation: The KDF. Purportedly, a more respectable cousin of the NKF.

If I were Mr Durai though, I'll probably be wanting to make sure that the latest charity show actually hits the donation target: I'll liquidate my assets, cancel flights (but the cavier..ohhh..and the leg space...), melt some gold, hire stand-in phone number smashers, just to foster the image that the NKF is still very much with the hearts of the people. I mean, really. I'm sure he could, if he wanted to; all the donations he will make must flow back into his coffers anyways. A Win-Win for him. But why the incremental amount of charity weekend events? Maybe he is saving up to buy a gold plated jacuzzi, along with gold trimmed toilet paper.

This has also illustrated another point: Singaporean's gullibility. If you look sad and pitiful on national TV, people will kaypo and want to help regardless of facts. Like my mum going, "Adoi. So poor thing. My heart pain pain, must call more (so no pain)." Any issue capitalising on this quasi-altruistic tendency seemed to have had resounding success. Whether this is a good or bad thing is entirely subjective and left to another rant.



"Maybe a new golden showerhead will wash away the bad luck"

Monday, July 11, 2005

fucking retarded kamikaze bastards

Religions and Extremists

Reckon this:

Since almost all major forms of religion states that you will go to hell for either 1) not belonging to their faith, 2) sinning, and taking into consideration that 1) most people will only belong to one faith (meaning you're not of MY faith
BWAHAHA Heathen!!), 2) we have all sinned at some point of our sinful lives (dont tell me you have not! having fun is a sin too! oooh..yeah...and condoms! sinny sin sin!) 3) the Gods are probably not hypocritical enough to save everyone: it stands to reason that, hello good people, we are all going to hell.

If so, why bother with all the niceties? Just nuke the planet already! Earth is the embodiment of another planet's hell, a rapturous
inbetween! You can expire your sinful lives over there, and you'll be reincarnated here as divine punishment. The more horrific your pre-earth sins, the longer your sentence here will be. Yes! Yucky longevity.And instead of taking potty shots at the oft-misunderstood devil, we should be raking points with the Dark Prince himself (DumDumDum Dummmmm)! Why serve in heaven, when you can rule in hell, right? Right. If everyone of us is going to hell anyways, I reckon it'd be wise to have the best seats for the ride, 'cos honestly, who doesn't enjoy wading through an eternity of brimstone and tangible evil?

So let 'em
christians and catholics mind your own churches and stop irritating people with your brands of proselytizing corporate-ship, you're going to hell anyways. Islamic extremists really need to stop believing that dismembered body parts will be reconstructed by the benevolent plastic-surgeon in the sky, or that brandishing the proverbial sword to recreate hell on a planet that is already a purgatory itself, is an express ticket out of this mess of a reality. 'cos it aint so freakin' easy. I'm sure heaven is well-stocked with C4s and claymores for your happy weekend gatherings, oh you handsome, bearded kamikazes.

Deluded idiots. Bomb more people, will you? Kill more! Hate more! 'cos proliferating hate for the glory of your religion must surely earn the yummy favors of your genocidal god! The G8 summit is a festering conclave of evil: with god-hating agendas designed to ruin the establishment of your God on earth! Say no to the Kyoto Treaty! Say yes to greenhouse gases! Say no to anti-poverty! Stop coming to amicable terms! We should be fighting America! Not sitting down with them and having peaceful talks! Oh yes. I'm sure you'll have the best seats in the house. And the Dark Prince? He would simply
die to have tea with you for the splendiferous fireworks. Bloody retards. Please leave some cookies for me, won't you?

"Fear me!!"